He sticked to his calendar and his office route,
A world revolving from 9 to 5,
He stayed a prisoner of his goals,
One eve, a free bird knocked his door,
But he gave it a miss, only to search for it later,
She turned the tides of his thoughts.
He slided a little on d edge, with her thoughts,
She took him to the cliff and pushed him for a fall,
And every second he realized wat he missed,
While he climbed the ladder of corporate dreams….
A silent story flourished with raw script everyday,
They fell trap to fight, love and jealousy,
And while the world survived among crowd,
They sneaked out together,
For a quite whisper,
A small love story , confined to their hearts….
What you doing to me?
I left this feel, long before,
This part of me died in the past,
Never thought will walk back in that lane,
Never knew, I will meet someone like you,
Someone, who will reach my heart & soul.
Tears that fell, I was the reason for it,
Hurted you, but never thought it will haunt me back,
When you called and we fought,
Never told you, but
Your husky voice filled my loneliness.
Bad with words? Yes I am,
Never told you, what I feel for you,
Everything I dreamt of, came crashing down,
Still I am dealing with it,
Cause when you smile, it brightens my day.
I want to know how it feels like
To be with you,
In a place where it’s just you and me,
Feel those words that you said,
Watch your lips flow in rhyme when you sing to me,
Water dripping of the wisps of your hair,
I want to swivel it through,
And Reach your cheeks,
How will it feel to be with you?
The warmth of your presence,
As close as my heart beat.
Trust me sweetheart, when I say this,
You are a baby and I like it,
Times when you irritate me,
At times you are the kid I want to babysit,
Pamper you the entire day and watch you giggle,
To tease you and make you angry,
Then to love you till late,
And kiss you good night, till you fall asleep
If I had distanced myself in time,
These questions wouldn’t have knocked my door,
Thoughts of you, only wish to be with you.
Tell me, did you ever felt this way,
As if you are burdened with thoughts,
That you failed to express.
The plans never ceased to end,
What should I do to make you smile?
A question that always played.
You became my world,
A blend of happiness & pain,
Tell me, did you also felt the agony,
Every time we ditched our outing.
A sarcasm you always used,
“I am bad with words” you said,
I tried my best, to act perfect in front of you,
Every day was test for me, to look my best,
You were the best in simple ways,
Tell me, did you also felt that I acted stupid,
While I tried to impress you with my stupid-ness?
I console myself even now,
Years gone, dates faded, memory didn’t,
Few questions I listed for you,
but never asked,
decided not to bother you, till the last,
but a single question still gives me sleepless nights,
Did you missed me? Like I did?
Let’s take a long walk tonight girl,
And plan to fight in silly things,
Let’s not pick the calls later,
And end up lost somewhere,
Let’s hit out girl,
“Just like old times once more”
Don’t call up, don’t ping me,
Just look upon me and move on the way,
Will ask you for something,
And you just nod your head,
Let’s just look into each others eyes,
“Just like old times once more”
Whatever’s going on, no one needs to know,
You have to let me know,
should we go for a movie show,
A stupid movie, I won’t mind,
Let’s just sit in with popcorns and coke,
“Just like old times once more”
You won’t let me catch your smile,
You like every bit but you deny,
Often you smile and go shy,
Let’s do a change, just bring a pen and paper,
This time, going to sketch us together,
Let’s give some colors a chance,
“Come back, let’s make a new start Girl” !!!!”
Alarm rings at 7 am: heavily intoxicated by last night’s plan, he drags himself to his cellphone. Reaches out to water to clinch his thirst, heavily dehydrated he seemed to be gulping gallons of water. Once again he promised himself that he won’t go to see her again. She was driving him to addiction every evening for hours.
It all started a year back when his friends took him to visit one of d brightest place but he could see only bunch of forced beauties selling their looks to make a living.
It was a different world, full of noise, music, bundle of notes raining every now and then, few smiling faces trying to entice and attract attention of rich ones.
He stood his ground, but fell for one among many. May be it was her or the song that played, he was hooked for minutes only to find himself attached to her moves. She danced like fire in the woods, moved like breeze and floated on the stage like a wild wave. Soon everybody else disappeared from his sight and she was the only one glowing in his eyes.
Every time she moved he lifted his hands, his cash stack drew others too. Drunk till his neck , he went mad for her and spent remaining bucks too to get her number.
Midnight texting happened and he could recall none until next morning he revised all over again. Little did he recalled but regrets were big, he never greeted a lady’s performance with money. He sought inspiration in every soul and she kept his thoughts busy all through the day.
“I want to paint her”, “I should write her story”, “I want to take her out” and a lot more, all he could think of was last night and a reason to visit her again.
As they said don’t mix Lady & Wine, little did he cared as she took his creativity for a ride. While others had intimate intentions, he had something else in mind. Certainly a cup of coffee, a date or whatever to know her story.
They shared texts , exchanged calls for hours, he told her often he won’t visit her there as he never liked to value her with money. She agreed with him but only exchanged words whenever she would feel.
He craved to see her in person and every time promises were made only to be broken. His head warned but heart wouldn’t listen, he still chased her every night and emptied his ATM. She would ask whenever he missed, he was still in dilemma whether she missed him or his money.
Somewhere he knew, but he denied to accept the fact that she’s making her business and he’s loosing his. Years passed and everything passed by, he stopped seeing her and she stopped bothering him.
World is a small place never made sense until they met for their respective jobs, he on his business meeting and she as hired as dancer of the eve. Place was new but situation was same, staring eyes , biting lips , taunting comments covered every inch of her body and he couldn’t bear that again. Restless and angered he left and only one knew about her, a friend of him.
As a friend would do he made them meet the same evening. Silence prevailed, he had a lot to say buried in past but nothing for present. A few drinks helped to collect them all and their evening started 2 hours after meeting each other.
Greetings, gestures, he directly came to the point , something he confined within himself.
“What kind of person are you? You don’t care if someone feels for you? Its all soo easy for you to attract people and continue your business, right?” He said and it all felt like a rapid question put at one go.
She looked at him for a second with a smile but it faded in seconds, taking a deep breath she had a sip of water trying to clear her throat.
“So that’s what you thought of me? And you are right? I am every bit of what these all people have made me. I am slut for that guy sitting with his wife in that corner, I am a potential bed partner wherever I auditioned to chase my dreams, I am call girl for everyone who visited that bar and stared at me from top to bottom. You have degree and education for your job, what do I have? I just knew how to dance, that’s all I can do to earn.”
She paused for a second.
“I remember you , you came everyday to see me and you did spent a lot there. But behind that pretty smile you praised was a complicated relationship, a story of cheating and a limitation I set for myself. What can I do if the foundation of my life has witnessed dozens of broken promises. I hate my life as much as you hate me.”
He was silent and still as a dead log. May be she reminded him of his past.
“You know I never had any bad intentions for you. I liked everything about you, love or not I don’t know but I always felt something behind your smile.” He said, a bit softly this time.
“I don’t remember when was the last time someone talked to me like that or even Looked into my eyes for such a long time.” she said
“You have beautiful eyes but I never got chance to say that”
“Nor did I heard it since long. Only my mom used to say that. Life is very complicated Arsh, it’s not that easy. You sitting here with me will raise many questions tomorrow, your colleagues are watching.” she said as she noticed staring eyes from all the corners.
“I have lived with many questions unanswered by you Riya, their questions can wait. I am not bothered about them. If I don’t talk to you now I will regret for many years again, I don’t want it to happen.”
“I don’t open up often but I am feeling free this evening. How is your painting going on? I remember you liked painting.”
“I do sometimes, hardly get time nowadays.”
“Wait I will show you something.” she said
She started flickering her cellphone and faced something towards him.
“Remember this?” She smiled pointing at screen.
“Omg you still have this with you.”
“No-one ever painted me, you were the only one. I liked it, so I kept it. Although I would have liked to have the actual copy instead of a photograph.”
“You can.” he nodded.
They went over and over past memories, two broken hearts were mended, regrets were dissolved.
“Life is short as they say,
Regrets make it long and painful,
& they walked along entire night,
in each others company, they felt at home.”
How to say hi?
When I saw you after years,
Last we met words didn’t fall into places,
We crossed ways in a mute path,
maintained with years of silence.
how to say Hi?
When I have tried years to hate you,
Scold you for not being with me,
For keeping your lips sealed,
When I waited every moment to hear from you.
how to say Hi?
When I know things have changed,
You sound a more mature lady,
But I am the same kid of your batch,
Those memories still matters to me ,
When you could hardly recall any..
I will pass by to never turn again,
for now I know, it’s not your fault,
I was in love with a different girl,
and she stays with me, with every blink of memories,
hurts me often yet follows me now and then,
Why should I say hi?
When I know you won’t be like her again…
Long back when we were kids, we were told or rather directed to be a bit more serious about life. Whatever level of seriousness I have reached, the bit more was always constant. A little more, some more, few more percentage, some more hard work, some other better job, some more hike in package and this a bit more greed always tags along.
What have I lost in running for this some more? Nothing much I guess…just my childhood stupidities, the games in recess time, some cartoons that made every kid glued to the tv, pressure of expectations to do better then someone every time and a thought that never leaves my mind that this world is like that only. It needs more of everything but nobody knows how much they need.
We say people change, some say that they have turned mature. I have met those people, the same people with whom I shared stupid jokes and did stupid stuff. But now they are very cautious coz they have grown up, my jokes are not funny for them anymore and neither our hangout are important. They need more from life , have to wake up early morning so can’t stick around late, have to earn incentives but can’t plan of a vacation and some are in love but have no time for proposal.
I fell for someone years back, we shared a lot of good moments said that we are best friends, although she meant more than that. Years down the line those memories doesn’t make sense for her anymore and the reason is she is grown up and turned mature. I have all those memories inked in my life’s pages, May be I was the only one writing them down. Growing up really has some consequences, I might also be like them one day with a grown up tag but today is not that day……..